Mental Health Week

I’m not a rule breaker. I try to follow the rules and encourage others to do the same but I flew home to see my family and friends during the rona and it was the best, ill-advised decision of 2020.

Single in the city with no family is no joke during a pandemic. Great friends but no access to family all year was killing me. As I slid into a depression, I tried anti depressants which helped me feel better but drugs can’t touch your heart or fill your spirit. Ask any addict.

When a family friend drowned earlier in the year, I made the hard decision to not come home. As my sister and her husband packed up over twenty years of house to downsize, I wasn’t there to help. I missed my moms hugs which normally lasted too long and cut my air supply. My dads jokes didn’t come across the same on FaceTime. And my four rambunctious God babies energy isn’t the same when I’m not accidentally kicked in the head. Like everyone else, I needed more.

Against the CDC and the multiple mixed messages, I bought a $85 round trip ticket that went against the rules but most likely saved my life. A slice of familiar in the unfamiliar, it felt like I took a breathe for the first time in months.

I’m heading home after ten days and something is absolutely different. That something came from riding down the Bishop Ford highway in the middle of the night with my old college love, my cousin waking me up with Dunkin Donuts coffee and cooking me breakfast, my college friends supporting our friend who had to bury her murdered father, my aunt trapping me in a deep hug as I was leaving and, most importantly, avoiding all rona news for the entire trip. And as a news junkie, this was no easy feat but I managed.

Inevitably, someone will read this and get immediately offended. Did I follow the rules? Mostly. I was tested twice during the trip. Wore a mask in public, avoided touching my face when possible and continue to dry my hands out with sanitizer. But I decided the CDC can’t be responsible for my mental and physical health so I took matters into my own hands.

What’s the point of living if you feel dead? YOLO