Dear Dawn,
Wow! I don't even know where to begin. One because I'm not sure if you would believe me. And two, I know how bad you hurt. And how lost and alone you feel. So i know you won't want to get your hopes up. But please please trust me! Where you are now. How you feel now. How you think you look. Sweetheart, it's not your future. THESE ugly experiences you are going through and will continue to go through is temporary! Like for real. One day, you will be able to walk by a group of men with your head high, not like how you do now and look at your feet. One day people will smile when you enter the room because you're so happy, you're beaming. One day you will look in the mirror and admire your reflection. You won't hear the echoes of laughter when you look in the mirror. You won't have to run to the bathroom in tears because someone is making fun of you. Let me tell you what you will do. You will model in fashion shows. You will shave your head! Yup! I know! Trust me! You will feel so connected to your inner self that whatever you are feeling on the inside, you have no problem showcasing to the world. You will travel to Cuba and have men who can't communicate with you try because they are in awe of your presence. But most importantly Dawn, as you already know, the outer shell means little in the way of happiness. The most important thing I want to explain to you is, even though it hurts so bad you want to die, you will experience happiness so great you will feel as if you are flying. Your heart will sing. You will do what you do best, which is love others. And the joy you receive from helping will drown out any pain you are feeling now and in the future. It's ok that you feel hurt. Those things were mean spirited. But it's directed to you because you have a gift. A massive gift to share with the world and since day one, there have been evil spirits in place to try to pull at your spirits As you grow and gain more knowledge, you will realize that EVERYTHING, every tear, every heartache, every pain you experience WILL make you a great person. I know. You wanna know why it has to be painful. Look, there are some things we will never fully understand and that's ok. The only thing you need to remember is that you are a child of the most high. And He has gifted you with some gifts that only you could give. Those experiences will help shape you to be extremely empathic. Extremely loving. And Extremely willing to help the underdog and the ones in the most pain because when you tell them it feels like swallowing death to feel unneeded and unwanted, you will know exactly what it feels like. And they will believe you because it will be in your eyes. But they will also see love and faith and hope in your eyes and they will love the possibility of one day having the same love, faith and hope in their eyes. And your will will be done, as God intended.
Do you trust me? Do you trust that I, you, will never lie to you because I know you don't respect liars? Yes! Good. Those beautiful dimples that you have? The things you tend to forget about until someone mentioned them? Get ready for love because those little pits in your face are rare. Just as rare as you. I know you look for that; signs that you are special. You're right. You are.
I love you with all of me and I'm so proud of you for hanging in there. You, my love, are stronger than you realize. Just wait. You'll see.
Always,
Dawn